“Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice.” – Steve Jobs
Okay, mamas. I’ve seen posts about this on Facebook all over and I just cannot get it out of my head. So, here it is: Who comes first in your eyes…kids or hubby?
So many women say that their husband comes first because their marriage matters, too. He’ll be there long after the kids grow up and move away so it’s best to keep that fire going during all those same years, too. Make sure he feels loved throughout the years and keep each other happy first and that happiness will trickle down, so the kids grow up happy, too. Makes sense, right?
Other women say kids come first and always should since they cannot take care of themselves for a good portion of their lives. They depend on you to take care of them. Whereas her husband can completely take care of himself. The kiddos won’t be there very long before they’re grown up and moving out, so you need to enjoy that time with them. Also makes sense, yes?
Here is my problem with this particular parenting topic: It should NOT even be up for debate. Your children are 100% dependent on you! You are their mother. Yes, you should make sure your husband knows your love is still there and that keeping one another happy is important to you, too. My main problem is that you should not be putting ANYBODY before your children, EVER! You and your hubby chose to be together. Your kids didn’t get a choice in anything.
If you’re still unsure, think of it like this: your hubby is in one room, screaming out for help while your little one is in another room crying out for you, too…who are you going to go to?
Yes, conditions are needed for such a scenario…but without conditions, I have that seriously strong motherly instinct to help my child first and foremost because my children have no way to help themselves out of whatever is happening. My husband could eventually find a solution to help himself.
My point is that kids need their parents. I put my kids first. I always have and I always will. My husband is okay with that. We still have our love life and take care of one another. But my kids need me more than he does. And I’m sure he’d say the same thing. As I’ve mentioned above, they’re not going to be little for very long. Those years fly by. Make the most of it.
If you’re worried that putting them first means they’ll grow up spoiled, don’t be. You don’t have to spoil your kids to make sure their needs are met first. Those are completely separate issues. Putting them first means making sure their needs are met before your own…as any parent should do. Spoiling a child means giving in and letting them have whatever they want. Completely different!
Feel free to share your opinion on this parenting topic. 🙂
(This is a post from my old blog site. Originally posted: March 28, 2022.)
